September 12, 2016: The Hate Files XXIV

You get to work early.  You have a day full of meetings.  There are problems at work you have to deal with.  You’re ready to kill somebody.  You’ve had a hell of a day.  Now, you must drive home in rush hour traffic.  Welcome to a day in the life.

On this crazy drive home, I must come down from my work high, and try to remove myself from the matrix.  I can’t walk into my home to see my wife and son at this level.  I need to calm down.  Work is done for the day; no reason to bring that stress home.  That is my mission; in the next 40 minutes, I must be back to me.  There is one problem though… yeah, that rush hour traffic I talked about, and all the fricking idiots on the road.  Introducing the 24th version of the Hate Files.

It starts just before I reach the parking garage.  I must cross in the middle of the street, or jaywalk as some may call it.  I love to do this by the way.  Yet, people want to fly by me, not letting me cross.  I get it, if the light is green.  I will wait, and let you fly by me so that you can make the light.  But… when the light is red… what the hell is the hurry?  You’re pressing on the gas, pushing 40 MPH, to sit at a red light.  IDIOT!

So I let the last idiot fly by me, and say screw it… I just walk into the middle of the street.  Yes, you will stop for me… or I’ll make a mad dash if I don’t see you slowing down.  OK, check… made it into the parking lot.  Next task, backing out of my parking space…

Seems easy enough, and I’m not going to get into the time when I turned my wheels too quickly and crashed into the car next to me.  I’m backing up properly, but can’t… again, cars flying by me to get out of the parking lot.  Yes, I get this.  I will do the same thing as soon as I back out of my spot, but… I will let someone out of their spot if I see them attempting.  After all, I’m just going to have to wait at the gate or exit… it’s not like I’ll fly past you and fly right out of the lot.  No, that doesn’t happen at this time of day.
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Then we made it… no, not home… to the parking lot exit.  Now, the challenge is to get into the flow of traffic and on the way home.  So this same guy that flew past me… not letting me get out of my spot… is sitting there… acting like an old woman… not sticking his nose out there… backing up the whole parking lot exit line because you’re an idiot, and don’t know how to merge into traffic.  Grant it, these are the same people flying by that wouldn’t let me cross the street, but stick your nose out there… force your way in.  That’s exactly what I do, and maybe some people hate me for that.  But I wave… say thank you… even though they really didn’t have a choice since I stuck my whole front end in front of them.  It’s cool though.  That’s how it’s supposed to work.  That’s what I need to do.  And now, I’m finally out of the parking lot.

Now onto the expressway.  2 right turning lanes helps, except when people don’t stay in their lane when they turn.  So this same guy, who flew past me in the parking lot, didn’t know how to merge into traffic, now, doesn’t know how to stay in their lane when they turn right.  I slam on my horn… as I try to pass him in the 2nd turning lane… I was legal, he was not.  Idiot!

Now traffic is backing up… in other lanes… not mine… yet, people are stepping on the brake.  Drive people!  Let them fight it out in those other lanes… ours is moving!  Move, move, move!  Need I go on?

So I finally start to calm down… radio blasting… traffic opens up a bit.  Now it’s time for my “shortcuts” through the city streets to make it home.  The goal is under 40 minutes door to door in rush hour traffic.  I realize this isn’t too bad.  By the time the 40 minutes is up, I’ve forgotten about my rough day at work.  I’ve forgotten about everything I had to do to get home on this crazy drive.  But I didn’t forget about them… the idiot drivers… and there’s plenty of them… and yes, I hate them.  Now, they have their own hate file.  Welcome.  I wonder what idiot I will meet today.  3, 2, 1.. start that 40 minute clock.  I’m coming home!