October 18, 2015: Half Dead

I could barely move from the couch.  Watching our ace give up three 1st inning runs, followed by another a couple innings later, with no response from the Cubs, I sank deeper and deeper into the couch.  With a little hope restored in the 6th, I was finally up.  Unfortunately, that’s how it ended.  Mets 4 Cubs 1… Mets 2 Cubs 0.  We are now half dead.

All the mojo that we rode into this series must have been left back home in Chicago.  Thankfully, that’s where the next 3 games of this series will be played.  All the Mets really did was hold serve; we only need to break them once, and hopeully we’ll get that chance.  The worst part about this, is that we lost the 2 games we had our aces pitching in.  Ending St. Louis early, allowed us to line things up… unlike the Mets.  That did not matter.  Now, we return home to face their ace in an almost must win situation.

You know how I feel about that whole Must Win term.  It’s only truly a Must Win if losing the game means your season is over.  So far, we’ve only had one of those games, and it was in Pittsburgh in the wild card playoff game.  We survived that one.  Another loss to the Mets, will set that condition once again.  Is that what it will take to reverse the curse if you may?

I always thought it would have to be something drastic.  Meeting the Cardinals in the playoffs, and beating the Cardinals seemed like it would be part of the script.  Falling behind in a series and dramatically coming back to win would be part of it also.  Does it really have to be 3-0? 

Kyle Hendricks is who we now turn to, and then Hammel.  The Cubs lack of starting pitching depth will be on full display in Game 3 and 4 at Wrigley.  Will the H brothers be able to come through for us when we need them the most?  Our aces did not.  Lester, although pitching respectfully, was out dueled.  All that experience fell to the 1st time playoff starter this year in Matt Harvey.  The potential Cy Young winner was next to take a fall.  The run he had been on was so incredible, there was no way he could sustain it.  It just hurts to see it play out.  If Lester giving up 1 run in the first yesterday was a buzz kill, how was that 3 spot Jake allowed tonight?  To see your ace touched up like that, was like a kick in the nuts.
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I’m only able to type this now because we are still alive.  In the same way I can’t anticipate how it would feel to win and advance to the World Series, to win the World Series; how I would be able to mentally handle that.  That’s the same way I feel about being eliminated.  It’s the ultimate mix of sheer joy and utter disappointment that is stirred into the anticipation that I feel each playoff game.  What emotion will this game turn on?  So far, it’s been the disappointment that’s been flowing in the NLCS.  If that day comes when the Cubs are eliminated, I don’t know how I would handle it.

Don’t worry, we would get over it… we always do.  And after all, we weren’t even supposed to be here this year, and we’re only going to get better, and we should be back year after year starting now.  All that may be true, however, it will not make me feel any better if and when that night comes.  Maybe it will help in the recovery process, but not that night; nothing would make me feel better… well, almost nothing.

When my 3 year old son asked me to play baseball with him in the house during the latter stages of this game, I did feel a little better.  He definitely cheers me up.  My wife tries too.  As we got him ready for bed, he said he wanted to lay down with mommy.  I said, I won’t argue with you tonight… daddy has to go sulk… and write this blog of course.

It was an unexpected result in Game 2 that feels way worse than the Game 1 loss.  Are these young Cubs who have been able to overcome everything this year to get to this point ready to get over another hump?  Have they learned enough this season, and so far in the playoffs, especially in these latest 2 losses, to bounce back and win this series?  I’m sure hoping so.  I’m ready to turn the disappointment off and let they joy flow again.  But for now, I’ll have to absorb this disappointment for 44 more hours until Game 3 starts.  It will be OK, it always is.  I may be feeling half dead myself, but all that means is that we’re still half alive, and that’s enough to get the job done.  That’s the only option we have.