As we rolled towards the 4th, we found out the heartbreaking news that Joey Chestnut would NOT be in the annual Hot Dog eating contest; honestly, I didn’t really care. I guess because of his sponsoring the “impossible dog”, he couldn’t participate… Some people were upset. Messing up one of the “most American things” ever… what ever will we do now?
Well, I think it’s about time to add a new eating contest. I know there is the whole competitive eating thing, and maybe something like this exists. I’ve seen plenty of Man vs Food, where there are eating challenges taken on. I think I could do some of this stuff. Some of those Man vs Food eating challenges seem doable. I don’t know about the extremely hot stuff or the dessert challenges, but other than that… I think I could hang. Actually, driving back from LA back in the day, we stopped in Amarillo, Texas, where they had a big steak challenge; they actually had poker tables in the back too… I could have spent some time in there; I didn’t play, nor did I take on the big steak challenge. If I had planned ahead, and not ate for a day, I think I would have had a chance. I think I would have a fighting chance eating any kind of meat challenges; I also think I would do good against pizza.
Now I’ve seen pizza challenges before, but honestly, it looked like shitty ass pizza. The big ass slice that probably is not very tasty… no, I’m talking about a different type of challenge… with good pizza… with Chicago pizza. Yes, if the Hot Dog eating contest is America, then a pizza eating contest would be Chicago. It doesn’t have to be deep dish either… the one pizza that is associated with Chicago, although I could do some damage there too. No, how about thin crust Chicago pizza, or the popular term nowadays, tavern style. Speaking for myself, a lifelong Chicagoan, we eat thin crust pizza most of the time; Chicago has an endless supply of great pizza joints. The deep dish stuff… I love it too, but it’s mostly special occasions. So the thin-crust Chicago pizza eating challenge it is!
We used to do that as kids… try to count how many pieces we could eat. I’ll never forget when I set my record; it was at a joint called Little Joe’s, around 63rd and California… long gone by now. I wasn’t feeling very good that record breaking evening; call it my own Flu Game… haha. I ended up clutching up, eating 13 pieces of pizza; it was the small, square cut thin crust pizza… the type you can really pound down. One place I think of nowadays is Vito and Nick’s, around 87th and Pulaski; that would be the joint that hosts this competition. Imagine how much of that delicious pizza you can down; I’d put myself against anybody.
This could be huge. It could be televised with sponsors, etc, etc… The competition could be on Chicago’s birthday on March 4th, OR… on another holiday other than July 4th… Casimir Pulaski day??? Haha… I think it could work, but I also thought a Chicago themed casino in Vegas would do pretty good, just like New York New York. Anyways… I’m getting hungry…
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