January 31, 2023: One More Lunch

Before Christmas, we were sitting in church, listening to our priest’s homily. He was talking about how we should all try to reconnect with someone; reach out to a family member that you haven’t seen in a long time. I had someone in mind. I thought, I would call him up, swing by and pick him up, and take him out to lunch, my treat. It was my godfather; I hadn’t seen him in a minute. It hadn’t always been like this…

When my aunt was alive, his wife, my godmother, they were always around. Birthdays, holidays, vacations… outside of my parents, brother, and sister, and my grandmother that lived upstairs from us, we saw them more than anybody. My aunt always spoiled us; she definitely spoiled me, their godchild. Maybe one reason for that was because they didn’t have any kids of their own; no 1st cousins on my Mom’s side. We were THE kids; I remember one birthday specifically. On my 8th birthday, we gathered in our backyard; that’s one benefit from having an August birthday in Chicago. My godparents had given me 8 presents; they were stacked up on the cement, next to the lawn chair I was sitting in. 8 for 8! When I got older, they would come into eat at the Italian restaurant where I was a bus boy. Then my aunt got sick. She had some health issues; I don’t think she listened to the adjusted lifestyle the doctors suggested for her… at least that’s how I remember it. My aunt liked to go out to eat, she liked to have some drinks, and she wasn’t going to let something like that stop her; well, it did. It was about 20 or so years ago that she passed away; I remember it clearly. I remember going to the hospital, just after she had passed; I was really sad…

My uncle didn’t just disappear after that. Although his life had been turned upside down, he kept coming around the family. We’d see him for the big holidays; we saw him for some birthdays. My parents and him would go out to eat once a week. Over time, especially in the past 5 or so years, the times we saw my uncle decreased more and more; honestly, I don’t even remember the last time I saw him… this is why I chose HIM to reconnect with. Unfortunately, this “reconnection” happened in the hospital a couple weeks ago. His neighbors did a wellness check on him, and well, he wasn’t well. He ended up in the ICU, which is where I went to visit him. My uncle was never big on words; with all these tubes in him, even less. We hung out for a few, watching Friends on TV. I asked him what he’d like to eat when he got out; he mumbled “ham and eggs”… thing is, he never got out. I went to see him again, this time, just like my aunt 20 years ago in the same hospital, just after he had passed… I guess that “one more lunch” will have to wait…

I have many memories of my uncle, like how he always said “I think I blinked” after every picture he took. He told us he had broken his nose many times as a kid. He was in the Army, and served in the Vietnam War; he lost his best friend over there. I remember him picking up my brother and putting him in his jacket, running back to the car from the amusement park in the pouring rain. Many memories of him included our getaways in Michigan. His aunt and uncle owned a house up there; we would go multiple times each summer growing up. I would need a whole day to list all the great memories we had there. Thinking about those memories makes me happy; thinking about how my uncle is finally reunited with my aunt, makes this moment not so horrible.

It’s been a bit of a rough stretch… my cousin’s husband, my Mom’s first cousin, one of my oldest friends, and now, my uncle, all in the past few months. I know they say death comes in threes… I count four. Death sucks, at least for those of us still left on this earth, without those people that we will miss. I believe they are all in a better place. I believe I will see them all again. I know I will see my godparents one day; I will love to see them again, but, not yet… not yet… RIP Uncle Joe… say Hello to Auntie B for me…