It started right after the season concluded: The Bears started interviewing candidates for the head coaching vacancy. Since that time, I feel like they’ve been throwing darts at a moving target; what the hell is going on in Halas Hall? Do we already know who we’re going to pick (who we want to pick us) and are just going through the motions? Are we interviewing so many people so that we don’t complain about the Bears not doing their due diligence? Or worst of all, do the Bears have absolutely zero idea what they’re doing? I’m not feeling warm and fuzzy, not sure about you. Let’s look at the folks the Bears have interviewed thus far.
Mike Vrabel— I would have liked him to be our head coach, but he just accepted the same role in New England. Guess it makes sense, since he played there and all, but… we didn’t even interview him in person; was Vrabel just doing us a solid allowing us to say we interviewed him?
Drew Petzing— I had zero clue who this guy is; I still don’t. OK, OK, I’ll look him up. Offensive Coordinator of the Cardinals? Are you f-ing serious? Next.
Anthony Weaver– OK, I’ve at least heard of this guy. I know he came from Baltimore; currently he’s a DC with the Dolphins. Again, we can’t be serious here guys, right? I’m looking for someone with either head coaching experience or someone with a track record of great offensive performance coupled with superior QB development. Next.
Pete Carroll– Tony LaRussa part 2, come on down. 20 years ago I wouldn’t have minded the idea, although I do not like him or the college he used to coach. However, this college is where our QB is from, so… I guess there is a connection here. But no, no, no… don’t even think about doing this. I know I wanted experience, but… not somebody as old as our recent presidents; can’t we find anybody younger?
Mike Kafka– I heard of him OK. He went to my high school here in Chicago. He went to Northwestern University. He’s bounced around as an offense/QB guy with multiple teams. Out of the candidates we’ve discussed since Vrabel, I would pick him, but… I think it may be a leap for him, and one we shouldn’t feel forced to make. Would he be over his head like the mayor of this great city?
Ben Johnson– Drum roll please. After Vrabel, and yes, I know he has no head coaching experience, but I’m totally fine with this guy. Yes, I know… it’s easy for an offense to look great with multiple weapons across the board and the best offensive line in football, but damn… the Lions look REALLY good. I think we’re looking at the Super Bowl Champs to be honest, which is when we’ll have to wait to, to make this hire. Supposedly considering the Raiders too… Rumors have been he wants to be here, which is nice too. #1 on my list so far.
Aaron Glenn– Same great team. How the defense has played with all the injuries certainly reflects well on him. I don’t think so.
Ron Rivera– Well, well, well… hello old friend. Once upon a time, I thought he would be the next head coach of the Bears until he had a falling out with Lovie after the Super Bowl when Lovie wouldn’t listen to Chico’s suggested adjustments, and kept running the same defense the whole game against Peyton Manning; that didn’t end well. Rivera has bounced around since then, not a whole lot of success. I love the ex-Bear thing, and he does have head coaching experience, but… not my first choice.
Thomas Brown– Next
David Shaw— You’re going to make me look up somebody else, huh? The current senior personnel executive for the Broncos. Huh? We looking for Poles’ replacement? GTFOH
I hear Arthur Smith is next… might as well just interview one person per day until the Super Bowl at this point. Is there someone still out there that we should want? Have we already interviewed our #1 candidate? The beat goes on. Hopefully by some miracle, the Bears get this hire right, and we can start on a positive trajectory towards the ultimate goal of bringing a Super Bowl trophy back to Chicago. You got to have faith! Bear Down!
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