February 14, 2016: The Hate Files XX

On the day representing love, what better day to break out the 20th version of the Hate Files. It’s been more than 3 months since we spread a little hate…Happy Valentine’s Day haters!

Couple things:  I’m not changing the numbering system like the Super Bowl did theirs.  Yeah, you’ll have to know Roman numerals; it ain’t that hard.  Don’t be lazy.  If any Roman numerals any Chicagoan over the age of 30 should know it’s XX. Being the 20th installation of this feature, I wanted it to be someone special; I was trying to save it for a certain number 6, but I refuse to do a Hate File on a current Chicago player, because no matter how much I may dislike an individual, I will never root against them as long as they’re playing for one of MY teams. One of the unwritten rules of the Hate Files.

So why today?  Why this day to break out the hate?  It’s been pent up for a while now; the feeling to publish another hate file. This NBA all star weekend helped bring it out. Let me explain.

I enjoyed all-star Saturday, as I shut my mouth about the current NBA, and enjoyed some great competition between some great young players. I don’t really hate any of this generation besides the obvious:  LeQueen takes the majority of my hate these days, but is he even considered the current generation of NBA players any more?  Of the younger guys, I’m not that crazy about Westbrook or Cousins, but hate…nah.  We had to go into the archives to muster up this hate; TNT and the NBA helped drum it up.

He used to be one of my most hated athletes, if not THE most hated athlete in my heart. And since the NBA chose to celebrate his last all-star appearance, I will too…in my own way…Kobe Bryant, welcome to your hate file.

Coming into MJ’s league, thinking you’re the next Jordan; never that bro. That’s where the hate started. As Jordan was on his way out of the NBA, Kobe started to ascend.  As the Bulls dynasty was ending, the next Lakers one was starting.  Any questions why I hated this guy?

It didn’t help that he was really good…just another reason to hate him, and as the Lakers with Shaq started to win their rings, then when Kobe without Shaq grabbed a couple, the hate continued. As long as he doesn’t get to six…
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Then I realized something. There is only one MJ; that is a fact. There will never be another like him, so tune out all these BS comparisons from here until the end of my days.  I realized that this guy was the ultimate copycat version of the greatest player of all time; that’s all he was.

No originality. You watch enough Jordan tapes, you watch his every move, his every mannerism, AND you have great physical talents, you too can try to be like Mike. Why should I hate Kobe for that?  Isn’t that what the commercial tells us?  Now many have tried, and many will try, but there has never been a better imitation MJ than Kobe.

But that’s the thing about imitations…they are not the real thing. They’re phony, like deciding to get tatted up to be like everybody else in the NBA, or giving you fiancée a large rock to try to make up for your Colorado incident, or getting help in one of the biggest fixed games in the history of the NBA, you ain’t real kid.  You’ve been trying to be somebody else your whole life…be original mamba.

So yeah, once the league became full of tatted up arms, all of a sudden Kobe gets his; better late than never?  No, just a follower doing what followers do. What about the Denver allegations?  Come on man, you’re Kobe Bryant…and you had to force yourself on somebody, really?  MJ was definitely not the most faithful guy, but he never stooped to that; you’re falling off track #8….or wait, is it #24?  One over Jordan?  Like I said, never that, but you had help too. Yeah, of course playing with one of the best big men of all time helped, something your idol never had, but even the refs got involved. Ok, so Mike got some calls too, I get it, but an admitted crooked referee helping you in one of the biggest moments, now that’s original Kobe. It’s the Kings lakers game I’m referring to of course, when Kobe elbowed Mike Bibby in the mouth, knocking him to the floor, with no foul call.  Touché mamba, touché.

So now you’re washed up, and never did get that sixth; I’m smiling now. Making 25 million dollars to play with a cane out there, can’t blame you for that one. Watching your all star tribute made me throw up in my mouth, and I think I just watched it to help bring this out.

So I’d like to congratulate you Kobe. I’d like to celebrate the biggest copycat this league has ever seen; the least original NBA superstar, you’ve earned that honor.  At least you chose to imitate the best, I never said you were stupid. But I did hate you, and still do.  I will be closing this hate file now, and will officially file it when this NBA season completes. You’ve already passed that burning torch of hate to LeBum…talk about a phony. But you deserve one of these all to yourself Kobe. Too bad you couldn’t play another couple hundred games, to break some more records; you play enough games, you can reach any record. Yeah, watered down is what I’m calling your accomplishments you phony. And with that, I’m out…and so are you.  Black Mamba RIP.