January 7, 2019: Numb

posted in: Bears | 2

I told myself it wouldn’t come down to this.  I cannot fricking believe it came down to this.  The one person on this team that could not be trusted.  The game was on his foot and he choked.  Now, we’re going home. 

There’s no other way to put it; he choked.  I was at the upright game; if it weren’t for the blowout win, maybe I would have been more upset then.  I was surprised, but supportive of Nagy’s belief in him; it was a nice story when he started making field goals again.  It fell in line with the team=family philosophy.  I trusted in Nagy.  It blew up in our face.  But hey, he made the first 3 kicks tonight right?

I’m all about that team=family concept.  However, when you have someone who is not doing his or her job, then that hurts the team… that hurts the family.  Parkey will never wear a Bears uniform again.  He didn’t do his job; now he should be gone.  I can’t see it any other way. 

I’m numb.  This loss ranks right up there, let me tell you.  I immediately shut off the game.  I went into the Bears app on my phone and turned off all notifications.  I’m not ready to see any postgame reaction from our boys.  I’m staying away from social media, other than posting this blog.  This was a royal kick in the nuts. 

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Yes, it shouldn’t have come down to this; that’s what many will say… and they will be partially right.  If the defense had made the stop a few plays earlier, the game would have been over… but the guy Bryce Callahan would have been covering scored the game winner against McManis; he didn’t have a bad game.  What if we could have scored a TD in the first half?  What if we could have scored more than 1 TD the entire game?  Was the Eagles defense that good?  Our defense played well; did no Eddie Jackson hurt us?  What about the last minute Burton injury?  Ah, screw it…

When something like this happens, I always try to stay positive.  This loss will propel us to win it all next year.  It was still a great season.  I still have my family and my health.  Life will go on.  I don’t want to hear any of that shit right now.  This is what we get for being die hard fans.  This is why it hurts so much.  Some people won’t understand.  Those people just don’t get it.  It’s only a game.  Some people will throw comments at you like, I told you so… or I knew they wouldn’t win.  Easy for them to say.  Some “fans” will even spin right out of this.  They’re only around to celebrate the wins… not to endure the losses.  No, for someone like me, I take this one right to heart.  I want to bury my head under a pillow right now.  I want to call in sick to work tomorrow.  I want to sleep for 24 hours straight… maybe all week.  But I know, when I get up, the result will be the same; that pain will still be there.  We’ve been here before… that’s where my brain is going… into that deep, dark place… that place where my heart has been hurt the most by my teams… I think of the worst losses ever…. I know that only time will heal this new wound…

At times like this, I feel like never writing another blog.  Then I remember, that at times like this, when emotions are raw, why I do this.  I tell myself maybe I’ll make something out of this one day.  I tell myself I should market it more; I should push for followers on Twitter.  I should invest more time and money in this… get a real job and make some money doing this.  But the real reason I do this, is the exact same reason I started this almost 5 years ago.  It is my therapy.  Welcome to day 1…

2 Responses

  1. MK

    Numb, shocked, stunned…take your pick. The game was on parkey’s foot and he failed…bottom line. Yes, we can talk about how it should not come down to this, but that is the reality of some games. Sometimes, they come down to a field goal, make it or miss it, which is why the kicker is on the team. So get your sorry tail out there and make the kick. Upright, crossbar, rolled forward, and I was done. Was out of my seat and out the door before the ball could even hit the ground. During that split second, many thoughts and words crossed my mind. I chose to go outside and shatter my beer bottle on my front patio. Deep breaths, deep breaths. Yeah right. I calmed down but the loss still hurts today, 4 days later. Another loss for our Bears that might just rank as the worst I’ve seen, considering how it ended. Our kids are now getting a taste of tough defeats. Like you always say, it will be that much sWeeter once DA Bears win it all again…one day. For now, back to mourning…

  2. bullwinkle

    All the armchair QB’s have anal-ized the game by now. And I’m quite certain that it’s been over thought. All things said and done, my analysis is that we were ‘outcoached’. Plain and simple…… Sure seemed like we dialed back the playbook for this, and that hurt us. Like everybody is saying, it should NOT have come down to this. Parkey didn’t win the game, but he alone didn’t lose it either.

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