Did you get your annual end of season message from Chicago Cubs Chairman of the board Tom Ricketts? I did. I immediately filed it, and then thought… you know what, let me read this BS, so I did. Since I spent the time to read it, let me save you the time, and translate it right here and now in this special blog called “Tom Says”.
“We dug ourselves an early hole”– When I say “we”, I mean “me”. It’s mainly my fault that we started slow. Truth is, we only made a half-hearted attempt in the offseason to build a contender. In a shit division, the Cubs, with all the means at our disposal, should have been far and away the best on paper; we were not. Yes, we did some things, but nowhere near enough. We chose not to do enough because it’s still early on in the rebuild, and didn’t want to go all in. Facts.
“First team in franchise history to reach 10 games over 500 after finding itself 10 games under 500”– The boys surprised us. I honestly didn’t think we’d be very good; we were ahead of schedule, and in a way, that pissed me off. Because we started playing so well, I couldn’t, even in my business only heart, sell at the deadline. You see, we turned into buyers; that should shut some people up. It certainly put a kink in the rebuild plans, but it was worth it to take a shot at the playoffs.
“The key to winning championships is consistently competing for a place in the postseason”– I told the editor we should probably omit this part, but… I guess because all the 2016 boys are doing shitty, nobody will get too upset about this comment, because making the postseason 5 out of 6 years and bringing home a World Series title was NOT good enough… and yes, I understand the definition of consistently competing for a place in the postseason. So we blew it up; who cares at this point. We’ve built it back up, and we’re ahead of schedule. Let it go people!
“Our future is bright”– Look, I know we shit the bed when it mattered this year, but nobody expected us to be in this spot anyways, especially me. We are ahead of schedule on the rebuild people!!! And, everybody says we still have one of the best farm systems in baseball, so… yeah, our future is bright; take that critics! Jed isn’t exactly the most popular guy, but he does a good job spending my money wisely; no need to waste a bunch of money on a team that’s not ready yet. Will we be ready in 2024? Can’t say right now; I also can’t confirm if we’ll pay Bellinger a whole lot of money to stay, and really hope Stroman doesn’t pick up his player option. Maybe we’ll play it cool another year? The fans will understand…
“Thank you to each and every Cubs fan for your continued support”– After all, who are you going to root for? The Sox? The Brewers? We have Wrigley Field bitches, and nobody else does. All those years of WGN… you waited your whole lifetime for a World Series… you’re not going anywhere, even though Marquee is slowly limiting new Cubs fans going forward, we have enough… how many million were at that parade 7 years ago? We’ll just keep trying to do the bare minimum to keep you on the hook. Maybe, and believe me this is a maybe, we’ll wait for the 10 year anniversary of the 2016 World Series to go all in; that would make for a nice story, right? Only have to wait 3 more years… I could use some of the money in the meantime. Next starts in 2026… Go Cubs!
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